


THE TRAGEDY OF THE LOST SWORD

by SANS_TITRE



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Absurd, Battle, Comedy, Funny (I hope), M/M, Short, Weird, Yes it's called a tragedy but believe me. It's not., argument, theatre-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 16:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14241060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SANS_TITRE/pseuds/SANS_TITRE
Summary: Someone stole Laslow's sword and he's... not actually angry about it. However everyone else is.





	THE TRAGEDY OF THE LOST SWORD

**THE MISSING SWORD** (a tragedy)

 

LASLOW : _(entering the dining room)_  Hey, has anyone seen my sword?

SHARENA : Your what?

LASLOW : My sword.

ALFONSE : You must be mistaken. There are no swords, here.

LASLOW : ... you're literally wearing one right now.

ALFONSE : No, it's a baguette!

LASLOW : What.

SHARENA : Excuse my brother. He's a bit... simple. 

HECTOR : _(also entering the dining room)_ I'm hungry!

_And this is Hector's contribution to the conversation. He will not add anything else, at any point, that could make the situation evolve in any way._

LASLOW : All right Hector. Peri, have you seen it?

PERI : _(drowning in a pool of blood)_ I'm drowning! 

_(she dies)_

ALFONSE : Sure, die as much as you wish, but in silence, jeez.

LASLOW : _(in a state of shock)_ ... what... happened...

ZELGIUS : She died.

LASLOW : I can see that!

ZELGIUS : Then why ask? Moron.

ALFONSE : Idiot.

SHARENA : Dummy. But I still love you!

HECTOR : Munch munch.

LASLOW : Weeell all right. Is it too late to go back to Nohr?

KIRAN : (spawns right behind him) Yes.

LASLOW : AAAH! How did you even get here?? You weren't in the tags!

KIRAN : I write the fanfic. I do whatever I wish.

FELICIA : _(throws a plate in Ike's face)_

IKE : Ah.

TAKUMI : _(emerging from the teapot)_ Has anybody lost a sword? 'cause I can't find any.

LASLOW : Yep, it's me babe.

TAKUMI : WHAT.

LASLOW : And it seems no one has seen it. But it's okay, I'm more concerned about PERI'S DEATH, WHICH LITERALLY TOOK PLACE MOMENTS AGO.

TAKUMI : _(jumps on Ike)_ GIVE BACK THE SWORD! I'M SURE YOU HAVE IT!

IKE : Hector, help me.

HECTOR : Munch munch.

IKE : Damn. He won't.

TAKUMI : GIVE. BACK.

LASLOW : Maybe he doesn't have it?

FELICIA : Maybe I do.

LUCINA : No you don't.

FELICIA : Well it's no reason for WRECKING MY DREAMS!

LUCINA : Inevitable.

FELICIA : _(leaves the room, but trips on Peri's body and dies.)_

LASLOW : AAAAH! It's happening again!

ZELGIUS : No it's not. It was Peri the first time. Dummy.

LASLOW : Oh, shut up!

ZELGIUS : All right.

 

**THE END**


End file.
